How to They/Them

“This tender, smart, personal book is a gift. Stuart Getty generously shows us, with witty illustrations and kind humor, the hows and whys of they/them pronouns. A wonderful and necessary resource that is a delight to read.”—Michelle Tea, author of Modern Tarot and ValenciaWhat does nonbinary really mean? What is gender nonconforming? And isn't they a plural pronoun? In this charming and disarming guide, a real-life they-using genderqueer writer unpacks all your burning questions in a fun, visual way. No soapboxes or divisive comment-section wars here!Sometimes funny, sometimes serious, always human, this gender-friendly primer will get you up to speed. It's about more than just bathrooms and pronouns--this is about gender expression and the freedom to choose how to identify. While they might only be for some, that freedom is for everyone!“[A] clear, kind guide to gender nonconformity. Getty's cheeky tone and the punchy black-and-white illustrations by Brooke Thyng make this book a useful reference for anyone with questions about gender, whether their own or those they witness in the larger world.”—Booklist“Straightforward, practical, relevant navigation through the radiant world of gender fluidity.”—Kirkus Reviews

“This is totally cool. It’s an accessibly rigorous introduction to the singular they pronoun and likewise this, I think, workbook paws around connecting they-ness to the bordering and genuinely simultaneous realm of sexuality in its multiplicity of ways of feeling not ‘like’ but genuinely truly being oneself. Also the drawings are good, it just all feels direct (phew)—which is what we need—and it would be a boon to hand this book to so many people, so please do that. Plus it’s a useful read to remind yourself that you aren’t alone and do exist. I’m glad to have read it.”—Eileen Myles, poet and author of Chelsea Girls  “Straightforward, practical, relevant navigation through the radiant world of gender fluidity.”—Kirkus Reviews“How to They/Them is an easy visual learning guide to accompany us on the journey to accepting others as they truly are. The more tools the better!”—Jinkx Monsoon, winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race “Utterly cute and tremendously useful. A remarkably valuable, versatile, and accessible source of education on gender identity.”—Alok Vaid-Menon, author of Beyond the Gender Binary “How to They/Them is a friendly, gentle, entertaining introduction to gender, taking they/them pronouns as a starting point but covering so much more. With sweet illustrations, helpful timelines, and generous personal examples, Stuart Getty takes the reader by the hand and tells them everything they need to know about how to navigate the confusing, ever-shifting landscape of sex and gender. This book will give nonbinary readers a sense of being profoundly seen and everyone else the confidence to make the world that little bit safer for their nonbinary friends, family, and colleagues. Thank you, Stuart.”—Meg-John Barker, author of Gender: A Graphic Guide and How to Understand Your Gender “This tender, smart, personal book is a gift. Stuart Getty generously shows us, with witty illustrations and kind humor, the hows and whys of they/them pronouns. A wonderful and necessary resource that is a delight to read.”—Michelle Tea, author of Modern Tarot and Valencia“[A] clear, kind guide to gender nonconformity. Getty's cheeky tone and the punchy black-and-white illustrations by Brooke Thyng make this book a useful reference for anyone with questions about gender, whether their own or those they witness in the larger world.”—Booklist“Half Mx. Manners and half manifesto, How to They/Them is a useful guide to a gender fluid world.”—Shelf Awareness“In this sometimes-serious, often-humorous guide, Getty breaks down the do’s and don’ts of using these pronouns, how to be an ally in any situation (including the workplace), and just what gender fluidity means.”—425 Business

Stuart Getty is a genderqueer writer and filmmaker who lives in sunny Oakland, California, with their wife, Nora; cat, Princess Magic Face; and dog, Meadow. They make films and show them at film festivals sometimes, and also do speaking engagements about they and gender at places like CreativeMornings, Pecha Kucha, and SXSW. They enjoy puzzles, jumping in cold water, and shredding. On rollerblades, of course. Brooke Thyng is a queer designer and illustrator based in the Bay Area. When she’s not taking over the company’s photocopier to print oversize drawings inspired by weird things said in meetings, she likes to dance around the living room, laugh her head off, and read the news.