Online Dating as A Strategic Game

Based on a study using online ethnography as the major research method, this book explains why and how men in Hong Kong use QQ—an online instant messenger—to “chase” women in mainland China, especially in the neighboring city of Shenzhen. Chasing women through QQ is a reciprocal exchange process during which the resources to be exchanged in the interaction are not negotiated. Rather, the men provide resources to the women, hoping for rewards in return that are not guaranteed. This characteristic of the exchange makes men who chase women through QQ very strategic in their action. They try to maximize the rewards and minimize the costs by adopting myriad strategies, such as constructing an attractive online identity by strategic self-presentation. The role of emotions in the exchange process is also examined. Men learn the emotional norms through the online forum, but sometimes it is difficult for them to control their emotions; some men fall in love when they are not supposed to. As it happens, they have failed to calculate the costs and rewards rationally in that they may provide too many resources to the women without getting enough rewards in return.This book provides original insights into the thought processes, motivations, desires, anxieties and risks of Hong Kong men seeking short-term sexual relations with women on the mainland. These insights are highly relevant to our understanding of the quickly evolving use of social media, a phenomenon of worldwide importance and deep implications.

Maurice Kwok-to Choi is Programme Manager at The Li Ka Shing Institute of Professional and Continuing Education (LiPACE), Open University of Hong Kong. He received his PhD in sociology from Hong Kong Baptist University. His research interests include gender studies, online dating, love and intimacy, new media, and methodology.Kwok-bun Chan is Founder and Chairman, Chan Institute of Social Studies (CISS); Hong Kong Baptist University's first Chair Professor of Sociology; Senior Research Consultant, Centre for Family Business, The Chinese University of Hong Kong. Has published in 2012-2013 four books with Springer: Charismatic Leadership in Singapore: Three Extraordinary People (2012), The Chinese Face in Australia: Multi-generational Ethnicity among Australian-born Chinese (2012), Living Intersections:Transnational Migrant Identifications in Asia (2012), and  International Handbook of Chinese Families (2013).