This Country Hates Our Men Boys

‘I do not hate boys, I hate men.’ This provocative statement sets the stage for a searing exploration of the complex relationship South African society holds with its black and
coloured men and boys. Dr Mzamo Masito’s urgent new book, This Country Hates Our Men Boys, confronts the pervasive ‘cold and hot love’ that often translates into collective male guilt. When a child goes missing, a collective sigh of relief by men is heard when the blame points to maternal filicide, as headlines like ‘South African woman guilty of kidnapping and trafficking daughter aged 6’ (BBC).

The widely accepted phrase amadoda zizinja – men are dogs – is more than a colloquialism; it’s a symptom of a society where positive masculine role models are scarce. This linguistic shortcut flattens the nuanced reality of masculinity into a single, simplistic concept of patriarchy, obscuring the complex, chaotic social issues at play. Through the vital work of African Men Care, a non-profit organisation, Dr Masito unpacks the interlocking crises facing black boys and men: educational disparities, mental health struggles, pervasive violence, and fractured relationships. More crucially, the book illuminates a clear path forward.

‘Every man is every boy’ is not merely an observation but a powerful call to action. The struggles of adult men today are often rooted in the unaddressed needs and unrealised potential of the boys they once were. The lament awekho amadoda (there are no men) serves as a stark warning: without decisive intervention, we risk losing entire generations. This book reveals how individual trauma metastasises into a collective crisis. When boys lack robust interior lives and positive identity models, the repercussions echo through families, schools, and communities. Hurt boys mature into hurting men, perpetuating cycles that impact everyone, including the girls and women in their lives.

Dr Masito’s comprehensive framework addresses the full spectrum of development: self, home, school, parents, community, and government. True change transcends superficial interventions, demanding profound work on identity, purpose, and emotional development. This deep work is essential for boys to cultivate the rich interior lives necessary for healthy relationships and constructive community engagement.

The ultimate goal is revolutionary in its simplicity: to empower both girls and boys, ensuring no child is left behind.

This Country Hates Our Men Boys is essential reading for men, educators, policymakers, community leaders, parents, and anyone committed to breaking cycles of hurt and forging futures where all young people can thrive.