When Secrets Become Stories

‘Have you ever had to wipe down beetroot stains on a wall? They never really totally disappear, but leave streaks of pink and pain. From afar, they look like a swirl of pink and white ice-cream but, on closer inspection, the glare from the fear is blinding.’ – Lorraine Sithole A young girl on the Cape Flats is gifted in exchange for a bottle of alcohol, a woman is beaten by her boyfriend and told to bezekela (persevere), a businesswoman is asked for sexual favours to secure a contract, while a child rapist is released on bail after three years . . .South Africa is a country at war with its women. Rarely a woman can be found who has not been the victim of some kind of abuse or does not know a friend or a family member who has. Gender-based violence takes many different forms – emotional, financial, physical, sexual and structural. It can be meted out by strangers, intimate partners or a family member. In When Secrets Become Stories women from all walks of life, across racial lines, age and income demographics, boldly speak out. Many women are overcome by a sense of shame when they are sexually or emotionally abused but sharing what was once a secret, helps to break shame’s hold. ‘I am not defined by the abuse I have suffered,’ writes Sue Nyathi. ‘I am not a victim; I am a survivor.’ Heart-rendering at times, it is the honesty and courage of the writing that compels and inspires. With contributions by Lorraine Sithole, Desiree-Anne Martin, Mamokgethi Phakeng, Shafinaaz Hassim, Cathy Park Kelly and Olivia Jasriel, who as a child was sexually abused by tennis star Bob Hewitt.