Attaching in Adoption

Attaching in Adoption is a comprehensive guide for prospective and actual adoptive parents on how to understand and care for their adopted child and promote healthy attachment.This classic text provides practical parenting strategies designed to enhance children's happiness and emotional health. It explains what attachment is, how grief and trauma can affect children's emotional development, and how to improve attachment, respect, cooperation and trust. Parenting techniques are matched to children's emotional needs and stages, and checklists are included to help parents assess how their child is doing at each developmental stage. The book covers a wide range of issues including international adoption, Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, and learning disabilities, and combines sound theory and direct advice with case examples throughout.This book is a must read for anyone interested in adoption and for all adoptive families. It will also be a valuable resource for adoption professionals.

Attaching in Adoption' is a valuable resource for parents not only as they contemplate building their family through adoption, but also as they travel child's emotionally challenged path towards mental health and happiness. Deborah Gray has described attachment and all of the skills and responses that relate to an individual's attachment style and degree of attachment, and she has done do in a manner easily understood by non-professionals. The chapter on developmental stages is an invaluable tool for parents to assess their child's emotional age and determine what tasks have yet to be mastered. Parents who understand and implement what tasks have yet to be mastered. Parents who understand and implement the wisdom and methods described in this book will certainly strengthen their families!, Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents' is a brilliantly written sensitive educational journey into the development world of attachment. The book is a comprehensive and clear depiction of the importance of attachment, the challenge faced by parents adopting high risk children, and the negative effects of trauma and grief on the development of a secure attachment. The book reflects Ms. Gray's depth of perception, understanding of child development, empathy, and attunement with the children and families she has served in her therapeutic practice. Ms. Gray provides practical common sense tools for parents that can support them in developing skills that will enhance healthy relationships and connections with their children. Ms. Gray is realistic and honest as she speaks to parents. She empowers them to take charge in a nurturing way. She respects the importance of the balance of nurture and structure. The chapters building emotional intelligence, forming a team of support, and suggestions of when and where to seek professional help prove a hopefulness that there is a way out of the darkness of emotional chaos into the light of safety and trust for children suffering from attachment problems. Although "Attachment in Adoption" is written primarily for parents. I would encourage my fellow professionals to include this book on their "must read" list. It will assist them in their overall understanding of attachment and in their therapeutic work with adoptive parents and children, Deborah Gray had written an excellent book on parenting adopted children who resist being parented. It is not a cookbook, but rather a comprehensive book on parenting adopted children with attachment problems. That is why it is excellent. Deborah does not take the easy road of simply giving recommendations for various behavior problems. Instead she takes the more arduous route of first trying to help parents understand the meaning of their adopted child's behaviors. After helping parents to understand the reasons for their child's behaviors, she then gives them the tools for developing interventions that are most likely to fit their unique child. Deborah asks us to go beyond concluding that an adopted child has Reactive Attachment Disorder because they manifest a list of symptoms. She asks us first to also understand the impact of grieving and trauma on a child's functioning. She also asks us to know more about the effects of anxiety, cultural changes, and various other diagnoses, such as ADHD, FAE/FAS, and Learning Disorders. Most importantly, Deborah teaches us about the seven stages of attachment, beginning at birth and extending through adolescence, and she helps us to be aware of various interventions that can facilitate development at each stage. Finally, she tells us about emotional intelligence, its failure to develop following early abuse and neglect, and the importance of understanding ways to facilitate it. Deborah's contribution to parenting adopted children with attachment problems is substantial. It is based on understanding and having empathy of the meaning behind a child's symptoms, along with effective, sensitive, and well-matched parental interventions. At the same time, she addresses the necessity of parental self-care, is parents are to persistently provide the quality of care that their adopted child requires.After reading her book, many parents will feel certain that Deborah understands their child and their family. These same parents will also be likely to understand their child more deeply themselves, and at the same time be able to develop the unique practical skills that parenting their child requires., Deborah Gray's work captures theory, practicality, and sensitivity toward traumatized children - all in one book. Too many books have only one of these components, and her integration of may important facets of all three, comfortably leads the reader to a clear understanding of how children are hurt and how families help them heal. I will be extremely comfortable recommending 'Attaching in Adoption' to parents and professionals. I also think it is suitable for adolescents to read. It would help them understand so many of their issues - particularly around the entire birth family "web' and issues of shame and self-blame. I like this book!, Gray, a clinical social worker specializing in attachment, grief and trauma, has penned a comprehensive guidebook for adoptive parents, taking an in-depth look at how children and families adjust. The author notes that many of today's adoptions involve older children, who may have been abused or neglected, or who may have spent years in institutions or various foster situations; due to their past experiences these children may have difficulty attaching to their adoptive parents. Explaining that attachment forms the template for future adult relationships, Gray stresses how important it is for adoptive parents to be patient in forging this new bond. She advises creating a high structure/high nurture environment for the child, and instructs parents to find out about their child's background. The book covers many issues, including cross-cultural and interracial adoption, religious concerns and other complications for attaching, such as ADHD and learning disabilities. Gray also includes a detailed exploration of development delays common in kids who have been adopted later in life. While the book is densely written, it will nevertheless be invaluable for adoptive parents. Gray compassionately helps readers form realistic expectations, while offering a myriad of suggestions for families and children striving to form lasting, loving relationships.

Deborah D. Gray is the author of the bestselling book for parents, Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents and an award-winning book for professionals, Nurturing Adoptions: Creating Resilience after Neglect and Trauma. Deborah has been described as "attachment guru" by Adoptive Families magazine, and specializes in the attachment, grief, and trauma issues of children in her private practice, Nurturing Attachments, which is based in Kirkland, Washington, USA. Her passion is to help families develop close, satisfying relationships. A clinical social worker, she has worked over 25 years in foster and adopted children's therapies and placement. She has also been a therapeutic foster parent.Deborah is core faculty for the award-winning Post-Graduate Certificate program in Foster and Adoption Therapy at Portland State University. She is main faculty in the ATTACh-recognized Post-Graduate Attachment Therapy Certificate Program through Cascadia Training. She has taught in the Trauma Certificate Program at the University of WA and was the 2008 Henry W. Maier Practitioner in Residence at the School of Social Work at the University of WA. Deborah is a popular presenter due to her practical and positive approaches. She has keynoted conferences ranging from the Joint Council of International Children's Services to Orphan Conferences. She continues to work in a clinical practice with parents and children, who help to teach her new approaches and techniques every day. Visit her website at www.deborahdgray.com.